^{by Michael Allen Rose, 2020.}

I was hesitant to write a review for this book because, in all honesty, I’m not quite sure what I just read. How would you write a book report on a fever dream? I hope this doesn’t make Jurassichrist sound bad, because it was anything but — there’s just no way you can put down an action-packed science fiction bizarro mystery novel that asks the age-old question, What if Jesus was even cooler and had, like, a machine gun and big muscles and awesome combat boots? And dinosaurs were there?!

Yeah. I can’t explain it any better than the blurb on the back can, so here it is in all it’s sacrilegious glory:

   That’s all I’ll give you, because that’s all I was given when I picked up this book at Narnes and Bobles a week ago. I wasn’t planning on going home with a book that day, but I can’t deny that something called out to me when I saw that title… Jurassichrist… Its innate Quality was impossible to ignore.

   One thing I’d say is, don’t get put off like I did by how aggressive and violent Jesus sounds in that description. Sure, Jesus wiping out the dinosaurs with an automatic long before the comet ever could sounds badass, but that’s sort of the opposite of what Jesus is all about, right? But don’t worry, the author knows that too, and Jesus is definitely not the bad guy in this book. In fact, the author seems to know A LOT about the Bible, and as someone who hasn’t read the Good Book in about 15 years, some Googling was involved to get all the jokes. But once I got with the program, pretty much every line in this blessed book was an absolute banger, which is just how I like my pulp fiction to be. Getting to hear J.C. take his own name in vain while tripping over a clod of dirt, or screaming in all his holy power, “Eat lead, demon!” has been the highlight of my week. In this baffling piece of Christian fanfiction, Rose portrays Jesus exactly as he’s always been and always should be — as he puts it, a “rebellious little shit" — and I won’t deny that I walked away from this book loving the Beloved Son more than ever before. So heathens and devotees alike, this one’s for you!